Trump Vows to Ban Coronavirus Vaccine If Obama Invented It
The threat took members of the White House press corps aback, since there are no reports of Obama attempting to invent one.
June 26, 2020
Giuliani No Longer Worst Lawyer in Country
The dethronement of the former New York mayor was all the more shocking because his claim to that title had remained unchallenged for so long.
June 25, 2020
Trump Refuses to Ramp Up Testing Because of His Hatred of Ramps
White House staffers have been scrambling in recent days to find synonyms.
June 23, 2020
Trump Offers Stimulus Checks to Anyone Willing to Come to His Next Rally
Trump’s economic adviser said that the checks would be paid “in installments, based on how long the recipients actually stay at the rally.”
June 23, 2020
Trump Calls Drinking Glass of Water Proudest Achievement as President
The President added that doing it so well in front of such a large crowd made it even more extraordinary.
June 22, 2020
Trump to Hold Next Rally in Bunker
Brad Parscale, the chairman of Trump’s reëlection campaign, denied that the choice of venue reflected a tepid level of enthusiasm to see the candidate speak.
June 21, 2020
Susan Collins Puts Bolton Book in Amazon Cart but Remains Undecided About Placing Order
Speaking to reporters, the senator called the decision “one of the most wrenching of my career.”
June 18, 2020
White House Staff Seething with Envy After Fauci Reveals He Has Not Spoken to Trump in Two Weeks
Scores of Administration employees demanded to know whether Fauci had a secret trick that they could employ to similar effect.
June 17, 2020
Trump Proposes Overruling Supreme Court by Creating Supremer Court
“Right now, if the Supreme Court makes a bad decision, quite frankly, you’re screwed,” the President said.
June 16, 2020
Mitch McConnell Gently Tells Trump Why He Can’t Fire Neil Gorsuch
According to sources, Trump planned to terminate the Supreme Court Justice and replace him with the Fox News host Jeanine Pirro.
June 15, 2020